After
months in a state of uncertainty, I finally got the magical phone call from my
organization the 3rd of July. A family in Scotland had chosen me as their
long-term exchange student. The person who told me never gave me any specific
information about this family nor where in Scotland I had been placed, she was
just being overly excited on my behalf and was just telling how wonderful and
different a year in Scotland would be.
From the day I signed the papers for
this exchange year, I had really hoped I would have been placed in England,
perhaps in Wales or London. And the funny thing is, on the 13th of May, all the
students and the parents had been gathered for a info-day. After we had been
sitting for about 2 hours of non-stopping talking, I decided to go over to my
contact person - a woman who supposedly was the one I was meant to seek
information and answers at. I asked her what the possibilities was for me to
get placed in England. She told me that it wasn't so often that a lot of people
got placed in North Ireland or Scotland and that every year was a high
percentage of people who got placed in England. Sadly that didn't happen for
me. Therefore, when I finally got this call, I felt disappointed and
frustrated. However, I managed to stay positive while I was on the phone with
this woman. She then told me which date my flight was booked for.
The 18th
of August.
It surprised me and scared me at the same time - it was nearly
only a month away and I had no idea whatsoever who this family was. But all
while I felt a mix of emotions, I felt a certain relief. My heart was thudding
hard as anything throughout the phone conversation, and it began to speed up as
she told me I would receive all the information I would need through e-mail
after we had finished the call. It literally felt as if I was about to choke in
my own heart because it just somehow magically appeared in my throat. I was way
too eager to end the call because of all my expectations to this family. Would
it be a family with a daughter? Two daughters? Maybe a son and/or a daughter?
What about pets - would they have a cat or a dog? Birds? How would their house
look like? My room? There was so many questions that it felt as if my head was
about to explode. And then we hung up and she left me waiting. I was updating
my Hotmail all the time, and it felt like years before I received a mail from
her.
FINALLY, I
received a mail with the subject field of ''Mille Frederiksen, placement
information, Scotland''.
I remember
that I almost felt scared to open it. It was what I had been waiting on for so
long, and I had heard about so many students getting theirs before me - but now
it was finally my turn.
In this
e-mail there was an attached file. I opened it. There was so much information.
It started off with information about my age, my nationality, my arrival date,
my departure date and me. Then I got the important information. I had been
placed in Midlothian. I just remember I thought, does that place even exist?
Then I read I had gotten area representatives. Little did I know, that these
people were going to have an important impact in my life later on. Then it was
my school information. Beeslack Community High School in the town of Penicuik.
I had been placed in S6, sixth year, start date: 22/08/2012. This is a
modern, purpose built school offering a variety of subject. Co-ed,
non-denominational, comprehensive school. Right, I had been thinking,
whatever that meant, with all of those long and intelligent words, I'm
sure it was something good. For me it had been enough if it had just said: A
school with no risks of getting embarrassed, bullied or tired of anyone, any
subjects or yourself. School uniform: White or pale blue blouse or navy or
black polo short, navy or black sweater or cardigan or school sweatshirt, dark
blue or black shirt or trousers. School tie. NO high shoes. Possibly school
blazer.
Wow. That
had been a lot to take in and I hadn't even reached to the information of my
host family yet. However, I did feel quite excited about my school. It was a
whole new chapter for me, school-wise. And the fact that I had to wear a school
uniform just made me so happy! No more worries or fights with my closet in the
mornings.
I remember
so clearly how I felt as I went further down to read about my host family. I
had been placed in Loanhead - a small city within the Midlothian area, which I
then found out, was a county. Its population was about 6,900 people + me. So it
was in no way near of the city I was living in, Roskilde with its 48.186
population. I wondered if I had been placed somewhere far far away from centrum
- maybe in the mountains? -, Because basically I had no idea whatsoever where
Loanhead was. But I remember I found it
quite exciting and adventurous. I felt like a child the day before Christmas
evening. Then I read the names of my host family. It was an elderly couple in
their sixties. Their 3 daughters had left home and all of them had a family of
their own. It saddened me that I was going to be alone, especially because I
was so used to having my brothers around me all the time here. It did cheer me
up a bit when I read that they had a small dog.
That might have been the only thing that I thought was 'the good news'.
I wasn't thrilled. I wasn't as excited as I had thought I would be. Never mind,
I had been thinking, I have no right to judge.
Their interests were fishing, football, bowling, friends and family.
Well, that sounded good, I thought. Except that I thought a family would have
picked me with musical interests because of what I had written in my
information letter, but there was nothing of that. Lower villa apartment
with garden. Student to have single room - bed and storage etc. Good news -
my own room - yay. As if that cheered me up. It just seemed like I wasn't
satisfied at all, and I remember all I did was comparing that home to my home
here all the time. I was very frustrated.
Then there was some information about
this area, so I found out I hadn't been placed in the mountains. Loanhead is
a small town about 5 miles from the Centre of Edinburgh with good transport
links to the city and also to Penicuik (10 minutes by bus) for school. The town has several shops, a sports Centre,
parks, country walks, public library, after school clubs, churches etc. A
couple of miles from Rosslyn Chapel. Thirty minutes by car from the Scottish
Border Hills. Right, I had been thinking, so what I just received of
information meant absolutely nothing to me. It had just seemed like a classic
Wikipedia-page with useless and perhaps wrong information on. Was I meant to
feel excited about this? What was the magical about this? I suppose it could
have been the fear and anxiety that suddenly hit me. My life had just taken a
whole new drift within 10 minutes. When
I think back, I remember I tried to force an inner joy forward, and that was
probably how I managed to stay positive.
Genuinely I felt disappointed and
let down already. I was really really excited to live in Scotland and enjoy the
Scottish culture, but I wasn't overly excited to meet my host family. I
remember that I just kept thinking, 10 months. And I kept looking around
in my room with an anxiety of leaving everything. My parents hadn't been home at this time, so I
could have cried if I had wanted to, but I didn't. I stayed optimistic. I
continued reading in this information and then apparently my host family had
written a letter to me. Every word went into my head. ''Dear Student . . . .''
was the first words. Talking about another let down, eh? Why couldn't they have
written my name? Only 5 letters. Mille. I don't even know how I managed to
continue, but I did, and I thank myself for doing so. The description of them had
seemed better than what I had expected. It gave me a bit of a boost of
happiness and excitement that I completely forgot what I had been sad about.
The last sentence in this letter was ''We are really looking forward to
meeting you soon''.
But as
you've probably gathered by now, I was quite disappointed of my placement and I
had to deal with a lot of mixed emotions. But at the end of the day, I had been
given a family to stay with and I was now one step closer to my year abroad.
/Mille
